Life after being a student
I am not in the best of moods right now, so everything that I type following this would be considered as irrational thoughts spewed in a pique of frustration.
I realized that studying is the only thing in my life that never disappoints me. Some may wonder “How can that be?” True. But yes. Studying is constant, I know I can depend on it and I know that it is for my own good. Either you pass or you fail. Ironic but yes. Everything else, everyone else is but variables that let you down.
I’ve never bummed for so long before. I never felt so useless before. I need something exciting. Something that makes me think. Something that keeps my brain juices moving. I need a challenge. I want to improve the way things are done. I hate routines and this is not what I expected it to be. I felt cheated.
You know what they say about things always happening at the same time? Well… for those who know, I’ve been ‘infected’, ‘crippled’, ‘brain dead’, soon-to-be ‘toothless’ for the past month and I HATED IT! It is not my fault when someone transmits some viruses to me, in turn attacks my poor eye transforming it into a golf ball, disrupting my vision or when I sprain my knee and ankle, after injuring myself at work, having it look like a parallel trunk and not being able to walk or when I have to fix my teeth, having major surgery on each of my four wisdom teeth, extracting four perfectly healthy ones and on top of it, spending thousands on it just to make it look straight.
Shit happens. I know. You think I want to be absent all these while? In my entire life, I have never taken any MC or missed any lessons. So who are you to say what you said? I do not need sarcastic remarks or creatures lurking around and talking behind my back, trying to put me down. Now that I’ve ‘started’, seems like there are a lot of… shit happening together.
I’m determined to stay and prove my worth. I do not like to give up. It is so not me. But is it worth it? All the talk about being small and having the advantages of being more understanding, more caring, an open door policy, blah blah blah… I think it is bullshit. ‘Nuff said.
On a lighter note, I like the boss. He is so inspiring. I feel so much whenever he gives a speech. I am so happy I finally get to meet him. Sometimes, things just don’t go the way you want it to be. I chose this path, so I have to accept and manage my own expectations.
Learning to adapt is what I’m good at.